Comments on: I Am In A Wedding And The Maid Of Honor Is 19yrs Old – Has No Idea What She’s Doing & No Concept Of Money…

By: butterfl

butterfl — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:12:00 +0000

if you don’t have the money then you need to explain that to her. when you agree to be in a wedding, it is expected that you will be spending money. but @ the same time the maid of honor needs to be aware of everyones financial stand. expecially if you have already pitched in for a bridal shower. if the maid of honor wants to throw the bride a 2nd shower then she should consult the other bridesmaid, if they cannot pitch in finacially for the 2nd one then she should be prepared to foot the bill. being she is the maid of honor & technically her responsibility, not to mention her idea for a 2nd party. you need to explain this to her & not feel bad that you cannot pay for a second shower. or she needs to be more accomdating & maybe have a samll party @ home w/ just the bridal party, rather then having it in a restaurant.

By: lalala

lalala — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:11:59 +0000

Since she is so big on etiquette, here is some advice for her -if she wants to plan this “shower” then, as the host, she pays. (You already hosted a shower, you’re not required to foot the bill for another one that you’re not even hosting) Also, it is considered bad etiquette to invite the same people to more than one shower.

By: Luna

Luna — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:11:59 +0000

someone needs to sit this moh down and have a talk with her!!! she’s never done this, is young, and doesn’t have concept of spending…. if you must, involve the bride. it’s one thing to throw a bach party (but even at those, each pays for themselves and just split up the cost of the bride) but if she is calling this a second shower she might want that and a bach party… plus the bride already got a shower and an expensive one at that!

By: monicane

monicane — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:11:59 +0000

Tell her “I’m sorry, I have no more money to pay for parties. I’m sure you understand.”
I am attending a shower next week and we’re all paying for our own dinners. The point of this shower is to get together and celebrate – not just get a free meal. In fact, asking people to pay for themselves means only her real friends will come.

By: Nikki the Wedding Planner & B2B

Nikki the Wedding Planner & B2B — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:11:59 +0000

Say no and have the other bridemaids back you up! She doesnt need another shower and 15-20 people is not intimate.
Tell her you are happy to plan the batchelorette and all guests will chip in on food and activities so the bride doenst have to pay!

By: nova_que

nova_que — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:11:59 +0000

You need to involve the bride as mediator.
You are correct that the bride shouldn’t have 2 showers. Either the ‘intimate shower’ is relabeled as bachelorette party or it is a no-no.

By: mrsdeli

mrsdeli — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:11:59 +0000

Tell the maidzilla of honor that you can’t afford it. You will be happy to attend for the bride but you will not be able to pay for everyone but you will pay for yourself. Simple!!

By: MelZ

MelZ — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:11:59 +0000

You should really speak to the bride and tell her what’s going on. There’s a chance that she has no idea that the MOH is messing up so badly.

By: wholesale swarovski rhinestones

wholesale swarovski rhinestones — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:11:59 +0000

Talk to the other bridesmaids…talk to the brides mother and get all of them involved. Why didn’t she get lingerie at her other shower??? Tell her you need to plan the bacholerette party because she will get lingerie there. Or tell her if you do this party there will be NO bacholerette party. You need to get more girls on your side and out number her. She is young and inexperienced use that!
I am getting married and I do not want everyone to go in debt for my wedding Heck I don’t want to and its my wedding!!! Good luck!

By: decorative window film

decorative window film — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:11:58 +0000

the maid of honor should understand that she is the “leader” of the bridemaids and its a huge responsiblity. she is being unettiquette not thinking of others problems. you can confront her nicely first with a few of the other bridemaids in a nice way and tell her that many of you do not find that this “intimate shower” is necessary because it needs to be renamed etc. etc.. and tell her that many of you cannot afford to keep throwing these parties especially for other guests. the bride and groom are responsible for her/his guest not the bridemaids. if she insist then you can always say that you will not participate. or you can suggest that you will have to speak to the bride and see what she thinks. since she must be close to you, the bridemaids as well as the maid of honor, you can tell her what you think and she can mediate.
good luck.